For my English final, we're going be writing a poem and then analyzing our own poem for a deeper meaning.
I need to his to read my and give CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.
No bullshit. This is very important. Tell me some things I can change around or do to improve it or what not.
First, you'll probably want to divide your poem up into stanzas of equal length. I recommend you divide each stanza based on the number of main ideas/transitions in your poem. The poem itself seems alright, but I'd make sure you follow a closed format because closed format makes it easier to see patterns in poems.
Is there some type of courtesy with the amount of stanzas?
Like how generally with flowers, you would want an odd number.
the rhymes follow generic abc patterns. Idk if you're trying to keep it simple or w.e but you can change the rhyme scheme while adding descriptions in between so its like axxbxxcxx where xx are 2 lines of descriptions that don't rhyme but fit in.
It would look more complicated and better structured, but this is pretty good but a simple rhyme scheme.
that is the most retarded final i have ever heard of
its not like you're analyzing somebody else's poem to figure out what was going on in their head. you're literally reading your own ****ing poem. how can there be a deeper meaning than what you meant when you wrote it
is that really the final or did u word it wrong
or am i retarded
also here is poem in 1 pic because im good guy
i guess u can say im a good guy greg
ahahah memes
(http://i.imgur.com/kZKcIl3.png)
Quote from: KillerPig on May 27, 2014, 06:21:20 PM
that is the most retarded final i have ever heard of
its not like you're analyzing somebody else's poem to figure out what was going on in their head. you're literally reading your own ****ing poem. how can there be a deeper meaning than what you meant when you wrote it
is that really the final or did u word it wrong
or am i retarded
also here is poem in 1 pic because im good guy
i guess u can say im a good guy greg
ahahah memes
(http://i.imgur.com/kZKcIl3.png)
we have to give what it means to us as the author in a detailed essay format.
and yeah poke, i was keeping it simple because im not the best with poems so i didnt want to overdo something
Haha what the ****. I'd love this to be a final exam, it's just stringing bullshit from vague writing that rhymes. oh god.
simple is good :P
only constructive criticism I can offer is the incorrect structure of "you can't help but gazing." which in my own opinion bothers me when I read it (x
I'm sure you meant to write it like that, but simple alternatives can be like
Her laugh / her smile
it's always been amazing
a shining light of beauty
1) an image that is never fading
2) a mental picture that is worth saving
3) a sight that sets my heart blazing
you get it :P just a suggestion, but fine as is
Or you can say
"I've always been amazed
[...]
You can't help but gaze"
Quote from: 123bomb123 on May 27, 2014, 08:18:43 PM
Or you can say
"I've always been amazed
[...]
You can't help but gaze"
The word "amazing" is a near rhyme of the word "daily" in this poem and I was trying not to mess up the rhyme scheme and that slipped my mind haha. Your idea makes a lot more sense though (x
I think about her daily
[...]
I've always been amazed (It's always been amazing)
[...]
you can't help but gaze.
Quote from: 123bomb123 on May 27, 2014, 08:18:43 PM
Or you can say
"I've always been amazed
[...]
You can't help but gaze"
I never knew you would be helpful one day
but i see where u guys are going with that
Quote from: JustRK on May 27, 2014, 11:36:29 PM
The word "amazing" is a near rhyme of the word "daily"
in what world, haha.
Quote from: zomniethe4 on May 28, 2014, 12:05:22 AM
Quote from: 123bomb123 on May 27, 2014, 08:18:43 PM
Or you can say
"I've always been amazed
[...]
You can't help but gaze"
I never knew you would be helpful one day
but i see where u guys are going with that
I've been writing poetry recreationally for 4-5 years. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Quote from: 123bomb123 on May 28, 2014, 12:50:51 AM
Quote from: JustRK on May 27, 2014, 11:36:29 PM
The word "amazing" is a near rhyme of the word "daily"
in what world, haha.
Quote from: zomniethe4 on May 28, 2014, 12:05:22 AM
Quote from: 123bomb123 on May 27, 2014, 08:18:43 PM
Or you can say
"I've always been amazed
[...]
You can't help but gaze"
I never knew you would be helpful one day
but i see where u guys are going with that
I've been writing poetry recreationally for 4-5 years. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
wouldve never known...
Quote from: nanak tatum on May 28, 2014, 12:51:16 AM
Quote from: 123bomb123 on May 28, 2014, 12:50:51 AM
Quote from: JustRK on May 27, 2014, 11:36:29 PM
The word "amazing" is a near rhyme of the word "daily"
in what world, haha.
Quote from: zomniethe4 on May 28, 2014, 12:05:22 AM
Quote from: 123bomb123 on May 27, 2014, 08:18:43 PM
Or you can say
"I've always been amazed
[...]
You can't help but gaze"
I never knew you would be helpful one day
but i see where u guys are going with that
I've been writing poetry recreationally for 4-5 years.
still bad.
u :(
At RK, the poem is a (ABCBDEDFGF...etc) rhyme scheme. So daily and greatly and near rhymes. Then it switches into another rhyme within three lines of amazing/gazing.