Quote from: KillerPig on March 22, 2012, 11:29:02 PM
u cant just stop a fight if ur tryna prove a point
since when is fighting unprofessional anyways
Both people feel that their point of view is rightfully justified. So we try to make the other person understand. When we are arguing, what we are essentially trying to do is to show the other person our side – to show them that we are right (and they are wrong).
After all was said and done, underneath the problem on the surface, what we were really fighting for was to feel appreciated and validated. We, each in our own indirect way, were trying to let the other person acknowledge us, and to value what we contribute. But sometimes, we can be so stubborn.
If you dissect all the fights we've had in the past with our significant others, and through observing our friends, I think the desire to feel appreciated and recognized is a common theme. What's interesting is that in the heat of "battle", when we are so consumed with wanting the other person to see our side, we become blind to recognizing the other person's point of view – which is equally valid and understandable. It's like trying to put out fire with more fire, you will just end up with a bigger fire.
In every argument, there are two sides to every story. It is highly likely that both parties are partially wrong, and both parties are partially right. And if both people continue to argue for their side, there will be no end to it. There will be no peace, no resolution.
Admitting that we were wrong can feel as bad as pulling our own teeth. And when we do, it requires an internal fight with our ego to overcome our natural urge to retaliate and defend for our side. But it is possible to make a conscious decision of setting our egos aside – this may require biting our tongues, and nodding our heads in agreement though.