the idea is nice (it's very common), but
-the sig feels emtpy, imo you should either remark the smudge or add some effects (c4ds, clipping masks, ecc) or even both
-the right side of the render looks cutted straight, its not the first thing you notice but once you do it feels weird, maybe you could work on it with effects mentioned above (just slightly)
the two yellow lights around the focal are very cool tho and the overall outcome is nice