concept is cool, but its as conner says... render sticks out too much.
try incorporating c4ds into the sig and messing with the layer settings.
overall as a first, its a definite 7/10. much better than my firsts, and also better than some of the firsts ive seen on this forum.
edit:
something to help with your placements (both text and render):
on the old bots forum, someone in gfx mentioned the "rule of thirds". look it up... this is prob the best tip ive ever gotten for sig making.