Steve: Thank you for calling bright house networks. How may I help you?
Me: Hello Steve, I have a problem with my IP Address...
Steve: What type of problem are you experiencing?
Me: My IP Address does not resolve to a Host Name.
Steve: That is not a issue though, IP Addresses do not need to resolve to a host name.
Me: They do if you want to use certain ports that require your IP Address to have a host name.
Steve: Okay... (hes getting kinda mad at this point i think)
Me: Is there anyway you can change my IP Address?
Steve: No, that will not be possible as they are directly linked to your modem that is assigned to your home/
Me: Okay then, can you send someone to replace the modem that is at my house?
Steve: We are not able to do that unless something is wrong with your modem.
Me: Okay be right back... (Throws the modem against the wall 3 times)
Me: Okay, I just accidentally dropped it. I need it to be replaced so I can access the internet again.
Steve: You do realize you will have to pay for the modem if anything is damaged on it right?
Me: Under your Terms of Service, if I break your equipment on accident, I am not liable for the damages, and you must replace it asap.
Steve: Alright, I will schedule someone to bring a new modem to your house tomorrow at 12:00 PM - 2:00 PM, is that fine?
Me: Yes.
Steve: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Me: Apparently not.
(Phone hangs up).