Typed longer hope u understand now.
I make horrible mistakes too much (I wont go into it cuz i dont like to talk about it but its nothing gross, just mean). I try so hard to be a good boy. But i can never do it! I recently made a really huge mistake and I hurt my best friend! Everything was fine and he forgave me. But I never want to repeat what I did! I want to be good so bad, and I never want to hurt everyone! Ever again! But the problem with this is I already feel horribly guilty for smaller things too now! (I suffer from depression too but i take meds) It feels like I cant live with myself and the things I do, and every night I beg God for forgiveness but for some reason I never feel any better, even though he forgives everyone. I feel like I just want to start over my whole life, and consider suicide on a regular basis (Im 11 years old). and I want to erase everything ive ever done because I am tired of being such a sinner, so could you help me out with that?