A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini.
The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming, he wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had.
His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Dave.
"Dave who?"
Dave slowly starts to weep as he realises his mothers alzheimers has gotten worse.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?
No? Well, it's really nice.
Why was the little boy crying?
Because there was a frog stapled to his face.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus are incapable of feeling fear.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The horse, having no comprehension of English, ****s on the floor and leaves.
What's worse than a worm in your apple?
Half a worm in your apple.. and the Holocaust.